batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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