Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
