so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
