So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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