it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
