we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
