i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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