fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
