you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
