wat bout pragnant strippers??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
