And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sext me about skeletons
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
