Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
