I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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