Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
