you have to choose: penises or morals?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
