I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
