I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
