new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
