Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
