can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize