census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
