For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
