Duck Duck Cougar?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Mom said you looked used
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
