She is in my trunk
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
