Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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