i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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