problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
