I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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