Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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