I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
