she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
