Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
