I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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