I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
