Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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