The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
