NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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