big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
