True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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