Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
