Dual....:-)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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