Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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