I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
