I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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