Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
