We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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