but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
