me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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