i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
