dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
