I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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