just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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