I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
