THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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