The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Come on in and take your pants off
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